Im soo hurt... i just wanted to start over?

your family probably just doesn't understand your feelings about this...sit down with them and have a good "heart-to-heart" conversation with them...explain your feelings to them, and explain to them why your them using your old name hurts your feelings/brings back negative memories...if your family truly loves you, they will try not to hurt your feelings and should want to make you feel better...hope this helps :)